My love of darkness and monsters will always be explored in my work. I’ve gathered a lot of material and created a lot of pieces that speaks to the more liberal and enlightened perspectives on criminality and social justice. These pieces are the ones that I am most proud of and passionate about. Comparatively, I have to say, I tend to enjoy making work that luxuriates in the less sophisticated dark thoughts. This time of year always puts me in the mood for Arnulf Rainer, Rothko, Goya, Mary Shelly and Bram Stoker. This is the best time to create work that celebrates darkness, maybe I’ll do some painting. As much as I love writing, painting allows for more tactility. I feel these three pieces of art above and the quote below all effectively strike the same mood and level of feeling. I’d like to explore writing while painting to see what types of results I get.
“My heart was fashioned to be susceptible of love and sympathy, and when wrenched by misery to vice and hatred, it did not endure the violence of the change without torture such as you cannot even imagine.” – Mary Shelley, Frankenstein
I paint not the things I see but the feelings they arouse in me – Franz Kline
“I think of white as silent absolutely. Snow. Space. Cold. I think of Midwest snow…icy blue shadows.” – Joan Mitchell
Dire Attempts in Stagnant Times
We fall subject to
a paused breath…
The girth of which,
and pauses suicide.
– Amanda Lehman-Choi
Ground yourself and focus, it will help you get carried away.
The House of the Deaf Man
A layout of Goya’s house showing his “black paintings” in their original positions in his house:
Goya has always been a favorite of mine, and I often reference him when writing about narrative. “Saturn devouring his Son”, was the inspiration behind my work with monsters.
Lately I’ve been feeling inspired to paint; I feel like “dog” may lead to a new series of work.
It was sunny today, so warm and pretty, the tulips and daffodils will soon be in flower. I was walking downtown talking to him, then when I put down my phone, a woman said to me “your a girl who obviously just fell in love.” I realized that I’ve been falling in love for 5 and a half years. I don’t usually dedicate my blogs to such personal fizz, but love and happiness are the only matter that fills my thoughts. I came to Van to find inspiration and to “be an artist” and instead I’ve fallen deeper in love. La vie en rose.
No matter how Debbie Downer I feel…I always feel so completely inspired and uplifted every time I read a physics article or watch some Universe Discovery Show. It’s strange though, my beloved NYMag brings us the heading “You Became Even More Insignificant Today”, which was about how there are 3 times more stars in the universe then originally thought, which then came with many depressing comments about how small and pointless we are (http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/12/you_became_even_more_insignifi.html). I actually don’t understand this frame of mind at all, as instantly as I saw the title I clicked to the Discover Magazine article and read (http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/80beats/2010/12/01/the-estimated-number-of-stars-in-the-universe-just-tripled/). I can’t for the life of me understand how this couldn’t be uplifting. I find myself humorously wondering if they offer artist residencies at observatories. I know it sounds stupid but they seriously should.
There is a certain kind of disheartening feeling that comes with his suicide. I wish I could tell him this:
my hero, my imaginary audience, my inspiration…I hope you are at rest. I wish I could have told you how much you meant to me. It made me so hopeful that you existed and that you were able to find success.
I’m still contemplating style.com’s words by Tim Blank’s “…He was also an arch romantic with a pessimistic streak. It produced some of the most beautiful, shocking images in the history of fashion, but it’s a state of mind that can lead to endless disappointments”